Fly Away With Me...

When I am not working, I feel like I spend half my time traveling. From Trains, Planes and Automobiles, its always an adventure. Last week I traveled to Florida for the weekend, and the trip was great, but the trip down and back didn't disappoint either...

So here's my deal with airports, they are ALWAYS on Orange alert. We get it, and they announce it, every 10 minutes (I am all about airport security, but the Orange alert seems to be a bit pointless). Between Caution, we are currently experiencing an orange level to the H1N1 alerts, its amazing people aren't going into panic attacks while waiting to board the plane. For someone who doesn't travel much they must be terrified. Think about it, TERROR! ORANGE ALERT! BE CAREFUL! to: Please be careful, the flu is spreading. To reduce your risk of the flu wash your hands (no shit, Sherlock) and don't sit next to someone with flu like symptoms (which is basically impossible on any airline besides Southwest).

After passing TSA I venture to my gate, and stop at a Starbucks for a water and sandwich... at the register, the sales associate says $15.95... excuse me? $15.95? I ask ,"Sir, are you sure this pre-wrapped sandwich (4 days ago) and this bottle of water is $15.95?" He nods. "Seriously?" (I think he's gotten this before. I start to go off about how ridiculous the cost is, but then stop because I know he didn't set the price, put my sandwich back and sit down at my gate.

As we wait to board a TSA agent is at our gate, they make an announcement that they will be doing random searches before boarding the plane. As a woman gets pulled to the side I watch the agent. She walks up to him and places her bag on the table, and he looks her up and down, up and down. Ew. This is hardly a professional, if anything, someone should be protecting her from him. He then proceeds to say "As much as I would like to inspect you, and I would, its against company policy. I will have to watch as she examineees you." This poor woman. She's being sexually assaulted by a TSA agent.

Once we board the plane I find my seat, next to this delightful British man. We chat it up about the weather (an obvious topic of conversation) and his 5 homes. The OVERLY happy airplane staff interrupts, 3 times. Can I get you anything, anything at all? He must be VIP because I have never witnessed such a happy and overly helpful person. He orders two glasses of wine, one for him, and one for me. Which we continued to do the entire 2 hr and 55 min plane ride. This old man was trying to out drink me! It was hilarious (and riding on an airplane had never been so fun!). By the time I landed in Florida I was ready for a relaxing vacation, and that poor old man was ready for a nap!